TravelChick

Feeling Cranky

I get all types of cranky: cranky when I get hungry, cranky when I'm sad, and cranky when I lonely; I'm sure there are other instances. Today I was a rare kind of cranky: hungry, sad, and lonely.

I've lived abroad a few times now and I know this feeling will pass, but it's always a struggle when I get cranky because I'm sad and lonely. I have enough experience now to know that the feeling will pass and that next week I'll be back to feeling good about living here, but today was just hard. I realized that, even though I have some pretty good friends here, I don't have a friend to talk to about girl stuff like boy problems or worries about the future, many of which revolve around relationships. And I needed that today.

In 'The Nanny Diaries' Kraus and McLaughlin, Nanny, frustrated with her job, wishes that there were a dial a friend service and you could ring it up and a ready-made girl friend would show up with margaritas. That's what Damascus needs; that's what I need right now.

You might wonder what I'm cranky about. The hungry part is obvious. Well, my friend and I were on our way to eat and a guy he knew stopped us and asked us 1) to translate an e-mail for him 2) what level of German I'd be in at the Goethe Institute here and 3) to stop by his shop so he can teach me Aramaic. In typically Syrian fashion, this was all rather quirky and pleasant but took up a good 45 minutes, by the end of which I was cranky hungry.

I was sad cranky because I had a pretty fabulous time with a really nice guy on Thursday and towards the end of the evening he told me that I'm a lot of fun. I will pre-emptively note, for all the people out there who would say that this is a positive thing, that for me this is not. I've been 'fun' for ages; coupled with being 'nice', this means that I'm a nice friend. Meh. So I'm just sad cranky to hear that yet again. And then I wanted to talk about this with a girl friend, but I realized I don't have one to talk about that sort of stuff with here. That made me lonely cranky.

I think the whole situation is just exacerbated because I'm feeling a little down about learning Arabic. I feel like I'm not learning very much, and though I've been studying for almost two months now I can't really speak, and I feel slightly embarassed about it. To make things slightly worse, my teacher this session is pretty bad, which is tough on my motivation. Even though I do my homework, she doesn't often correct it, even when I ask her repeatedly.

So here I am, feeling cranky, which I'm sure will pass.

posted by Travel Chick @ 6:13 PM