TravelChick

East/West

I've just spent six days in London so I could attend my friend and colleague's wedding. It was nice to be back in London but a bit bittersweet as well. Attending my friend's wedding was lovely, but I think I would have also liked to spend a bit more time in the US. I think I was also feeling somehow reluctant to go back to Doha, not for any particular reason. Perhaps it was because I'm starting to feel that living outside the US for three years now is starting to alienate me a little from the things that I know and the things I grew up with and love.

My last night in London my friend Nic and I met up with my friend Natalie to go to her friend's 30th birthday party at his flat. His fabulous flat, I should say, because it is right next to Tower Bridge and, in addition to having an amazing view of the bridge, it has an amazing wrap-around balcony from which to view it.

A few hours and many drinks into the party, a belly dancer turned up and someone started blasting Tarkan from the stereo. I jumped up and danced, and the belly dancer, the music, and the dancing made me remember that this music and the way it makes me want to dance are just some of the reasons I like the Middle East. For all my complaints about Doha, I love many things about the Middle East and sometimes just needed to be reminded of them, especially when I'm in London and thinking that it might just be nice to stay there.

I'm not sure any of the things I love about the Middle East add up to a good reason to live in the region forever in the same way that I'm not sure that my love for the wealth of choices in the US or my strange, passionate love for the City of London means I want to live there, either. I don't know how I choose a home, though.

Although I had thought that I didn't want to move back to the US, I think something in me has changed. I'm not sure if I want to move back to the US but I'm not sure where I want to be. Maybe that's a feeling more disconcerting that living in a place you don't want to live: living without knowing where you want to live. I feel like a large part of me is in the West and a small, but significant, part of me is in the East. I'm not quite sure how to reconcile the two parts or make both of them happy or if that's even possible.

posted by Travel Chick @ 12:11 AM